The Most Difficult Season of Parenting

When I gave birth to my children, I couldn’t imagine anything more difficult than caring day and night for these tiny creatures who could only cry to communicate their needs.  I thought surely nothing could be more brutal than being sleep deprived and “on call” 24/7 to tend to their every need.  Then, before I could blink twice these babies were teenagers with all the challenges that entailed.  I decided the “baby” thing wasn’t so bad and this must surely be the most difficult challenge I could face as a parent.  Both children survived the teen years and now are adults.  Surely, it gets easier to be a mom now, right?  Now I find myself in a very strange place as a parent of adult children.  The greatest challenge I believe is this season because it represents a culmination of all of the seasons before. 

As the parent of adult children, I no longer get to “vote” about what it is they do with their lives, their children, their spouses, their career choices, their education, their homes, their spiritual lives, etc.  The list is endless and the “job description” of being a mom at this stage is in a constant state of evolution.  As a parent, I am no longer a caretaker, teacher, and disciplinarian.  Instead, I am a source of emotional support, a mentor, and an advisor.  I can not rescue, and I must stand silently and prayerfully by as natural consequences play out in the lives of my children.  I am allowed to mentor and give advice only when asked, and then the “vote” is in the hands of the child to accept or reject what I have shared. 

The thing that never changes is the unconditional love.  That is truly bittersweet because getting hurt at this stage hurts more than ever, but the joys are also “over the top” sweet indeed!  How does a parent survive this phase?  Well, this is a work in progress, but I know for sure that I could never do this alone.  I rely more than ever on the guidance of the Lord through His Holy Spirit to give me the right words, the right actions, the ability to be silent, and most of all the ability to trust that through Him it will all be OK. 

~Winnie

Lessons from a Hummingbird Rescue

 

My daughter has always loved animals and has an especially tender heart for the weak and injured.  The following is an account in her own words of a recent encounter with a very weak little hummingbird:

“I was out on the back porch cleaning when I heard a buzzing up towards the ceiling. It was a hummingbird clinging to some insulation with its head drooped backwards. I climbed on the freezer and scooped her up. She was barely hanging on. I hurried into the house and mixed up some sugar water in a little bowl as fast as I could with one hand (hummingbird in the other) then rushed back out to feed her. All the while begging her to hold on and feeling for her little heartbeat on my fingers. We made it outside and I sat and gave her a spoonful of food. At first she did nothing but suddenly she started lapping it up like crazy. I sat there feeding her for what seemed like an hour... probably really only 5-10 min. Gracie got to see the little hummer "come to" and fly away. So cool to get to help that beautiful little bird! Thank you Lord!!” – Jillian Roberts

As I read this story, I felt great pride in my daughter for the way she loves and cares for all the people and creatures in her life. I also find that there are some important lessons to be learned from this simple yet profound life event. 

Lesson #1:  Pay attention to the world around you.  The small things are often very important and easy to miss, and yet, they are often the greatest treasures and learning experiences.    

Lesson #2:  Don’t be too quick to give up on a situation, even if it seems on the surface to be hopeless.  God often takes the most unlikely person in the most hopeless of situations and uses it for a miracle that can only be credited to Him.  All God requires of us is that we trust Him and that we don’t give up too quickly.  

Lesson #3:  Making a difference means we must be willing to step (or climb) out of our comfort zone.  Climbing up to retrieve a tiny bird and knowing quickly what to do to give it a fighting chance was God-inspired and yet required effort beyond any comfort zone I can imagine.  How often do we look the other way when others need our help because it just doesn’t fit into our schedule or our self-determined set of skills to handle a situation?  God knows the need and the way to handle it.  All He asks is that we be willing and available for Him to work through us.  We don’t have to have all the answers but we do have to trust the One who does!

Lesson #4:  Our action is our example (positive or negative) to someone else about how we care for others.  My granddaughter was incredibly blessed to witness her mother’s gentle but determined “rescue” efforts for that tiny bird.  The lesson she learned about compassion will stay with her forever! 

Lesson #5:  We all reach a point in life where we are like that little hummingbird – exhausted, helpless, and desperate for someone to come along and give us a helping hand, encouraging word, spiritual nourishment, etc.  Once we are well enough to “fly” again, we need to be mindful of other “hummingbirds” that we may meet who are in need of a rescue.  We need to be ready and willing to provide assistance, sustenance, and encouragement to those we come across who are just barely hanging on so that they can continue their journey to fulfill the purpose that God has for them. 

God uses many situations to teach us life lessons.  I marvel at the way He used a tiny hummingbird and my daughter’s tender heart to reveal so much about living intentionally and with compassion.  If we offer ourselves up as willing servants to the One who can do all things, then great things can be accomplished as we become the Lord’s hands and feet in this world.  There are always plenty of “hummingbirds” out there who need a tender touch, a dispensation of compassion, and the grace of a Savior to help them regain their place in life’s journey.  Keep your eyes and ears open – you never know when God will have something special for you to do! 

Blessings and Peace -- Winnie

When Believing is the "Do More"

Some people say they need to experience God before they will believe in Him.  I need to believe in Him so that I may experience Him.  How about you?  Are you struggling because it has been a while since you felt God's presence?  Do you find yourself wavering in your faith because you feel alone?  You're wondering how God could allow His people to hurt you and prosper?

I remember watching films of the Holocaust when I was a young girl.  Growing up in a Jewish family was wonderful but the 'we must teach our young about the Holocaust so that it must never happen again' mindset of my teachers really did a job on me.  The visuals they showed us of real Nazi footage still haunts me to this day.  These images were not just a movie, nicely edited so that the viewer could withstand the horror.  They were real films made by the Nazis to document their evil.

Last week I felt my heart wanting to jump out of my chest when I saw an angry German Shepherd dog being held back by his owner.  The vision brought my mind straight back to the footage as I remembered the dogs rounding up women and children of the Holocaust like cattle.  My mind had held the images and the fear.

I always find that my faith takes a hit after a trigger like this.  My doubts of a loving and all powerful God attempt to take over.  The enemy uses this time to barrage me with "what ifs".  What if my family had lived in Poland like so many of our relatives did at that time?  What if anti-semitism continues to be on the rise?  If God can allow that, what if He really doesn't exist?

Yes, I am being honest here...this is where my mind goes.  But the good news is, my mind is not in control. Some of you may be thinking ..."dah, it never has been Susan".  Yes, I normally lead with my heart, but that is not what I am saying here.  I know that my brain is just a organ of my body.  It holds my memories and experiences and will even bring them back to me at the most inopportune time.  However, I believe that it is my spirit that is accountable for how I lead my life and my faith.  In the words of my friend, Dr. Waggoner, 'I am a spirit in charge of a body, not a body in charge of a spirit'.

It is this 'Spirit Man' inside me that chooses to believe in God.  It tells my brain not to fear, to believe in God's word and to trust Him in all things.  It tells me that because I have given my life to YeShua, Jesus, I am a new creation.  My spirit is empowered by the Holy Spirit that lives within me.  My mind still searches for answers about how we as humans can hurt each other so completely.  I may never understand how friends betray one another, putting loyalty onto people instead of standing for truth and justice.  I certainly will never understand the Holocaust.  It may be one of the first subjects I ask about when I get to heaven. Yet I choose to believe first, living with intention to be fixed on His goodness and love.

I know that we highlight Patty's words, "do more than believe".  I think she meant "do more than causally say you are a believer'....  Sometimes choosing to believe in the face of pain and disappointment is the "do more" of which she was speaking.  I find that when I choose to believe, the experiences of God come...as I watch for them, and He never disappoints.